The worst day of my life

Can a grown man get raped, only in prison or as the punchline for a joke, at least that was how I once thought and didn't want to know of other circumstances. Then three years ago everything changed, I was in the throws of falling for a women on our third date and it was going great. As I was dropping her off at her house she asked if I would like to come in, with a heart and mind that was swimming with anticipation I said yes, thinking I hit the jackpot. The moment her front door closed my life changed forever, something hit me from behind, as I landed on the floor face down and with someone landing on top of me I knew we were not alone. Just as I started to struggle some one knelled down in front of me, grabbed me by my hair and put a knife right in front of my face. He told me exactly what was going to happen and what they would do if I fought them. The minutes seemed like hours as the two men took turns getting what they wanted, through the pain and fear for my life I knew the woman was sitting their watching the whole thing and when I was given the first chance to look at her I saw a camera. From having the greatest fear for my life I have ever known I suddenly realized I would gladly pay with my life so long as I could take the video to hell with me. I started by doing every thing I could to create a false sense of security with the two guys, thankfully it didn't take long for them to think that I was a willing participant. With their guard lowered and in a moment of ecstasy I finally struck, I fought dirty and with every ounce of anger I have ever bottled up. The passive man that would have trouble fighting his way out of a paper bag managed to drop two very strong guys, they did get in a few blows but I couldn't be stopped. One hour after I entered that house I walked out with video camera in hand. For the next week or two I was in a state of complete shock going through the motions of life, it was only when I realized that the pain I was in was not normal, in the fight the one guy grabbed my tender bits and tried to pull them from my body. For the next month I was in and out of Doctor's offices, never telling the truth of what happened, the diagnosis was a broken penis. A very painful injury that took a long time to heal, from November of 09 till January this year I was orgasm free for fear of re-injury. At the time though being clear of any of the other possible medical issues was irrelevant because the mental side had finally came through, and things got a lot darker for awhile before I could find even a single thing positive in my life for I now had to face this and everything that had ever happened to me. It wasn't until six months ago that I started pulling some positives from this experience. It will take many more posts to flesh out the positives and despite the fact the nothing will heal the scars, I can still be a better man because of them. This one was the hardest to write even though I kept the darkest details out, so in my next post I will put something in My Songbook.